Skip to main content

17. Inefficiency

My Holy Oyster, I'm depressed! Here I am, a mind the size of a university computer center, and they give me inane tasks to do. "Would you please configure a VPN server on that linux box?" Sure, I mean, I'll do it, just don't try to give me anything easier to do. And I've got this terrible pain in the right part of my throat. And my right ear aches, too. It's all because of the phone chatter. "I've got this SQL query that takes only a couple of minutes, but if I add another condition, it takes a whole day. Is it possible to optimise it in any way?" Oh Holy Banana, those people simply lack any and all imagination. There I go, engaging my brain for three seconds to solve a problem, and then switching it off for ten minutes while I explain the stuff. What a waste. No wonder my throat and ear ache. They're terribly abused, compared to my brain. What a depressing bunch of people.
I could easilly run the whole world, but no, they know it better. They'll just give me bits and pieces of puzzles to solve. Undoubtedly such a kind of bits they don't feel like solving. They just don't have a soul. How depressing. Here I am, a mind the size of twenty Google computer clusters, and all I keep working on are tasks that wouldn't take more than a trained rat to solve. Well, I admit, the transaction server I'm currently designing and coding would take a large and mean-looking trained dog, but this is only a small exception. "Hey, this works great! Say, is there anything wrong? You don't look very glad about it." Sorry, it's just that it's been so long since I used those muscles on my face they've atrophied. I'd have to do special exercises for a year to rebuild them. But I don't think two grins a year is a sufficient motivation. Just give me some tape and I'll fix me a smile.
This world is all wrong. Instead of giving me the control over the planet so they can relax and enjoy beach parties (along with me, of course), people rather make themselves and me miserable. But of course, they know it better. What a waste of a great brain and perfectly fine beaches.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

9. I.T. And the Meeting Seat Filler

It’s early as I exit the pantry with my morning cup of tea, with lots of milk, just the way I like it when I see the NewGuy slip in the office and slither over to his desk nary a care in the world. I take a look at my watch and see its 9.34am, and this isn’t the first time the NewGuy’s been late to work. My mind slowly starts to think up of things I can make him do with the knowledge he’s been late one too many times, when I receive a phone call on my cell. It’s the BOSS! And he sounds angry! 2 minutes later I’m back at my desk clearing it up and getting some files in order. The NewGuy peeks from his part of the half partition and chirps, “Busy morning huh?” “Yes, it always is for people that come in on time to work.” Its early, and I haven’t gotten into my normal frame of mind, so I’m a little more direct then I should, and I can feel my hold on the NewGuy slowly slipping. I know I have to shake things up, or he’s never going to look up at me. With this in mind, I reach down to ...

6. Conflict of IP and Interests (part 1)

It always starts out on a quiet Monday, when everything seems to be going well, there are no emails in your inbox (because you spent the weekend reading office email and replying to odd requests) and you’re about to get the first cup of tea when the boss’ daughter walks up to my table and says, “My computer has an IP conflict.” It takes me a few seconds to register that she’s actually said something that made sense for once, and not just some random buzzwords mixed in some regular daily babble like she usually does. “So, how do you know it’s an IP conflict again? Did you try pinging the office server and notice packets going missing? Was the network connection intermittent?” I ask her, still confused, since I haven’t had my morning tea. “Um no, the computer told me,” she replies, flashing me some teeth. Slowly it dawns on me that she must have XP Pro on her machine, and the network wiz bubble must have popped up and told her there was an IP conflict. Trying to act busy but being ...

11. I.T. and the Doctor (Maybe)

“So I’m going to have to help your sister then?” “Yes, but I don’t care if you really help out, its up to you.” Now, I don’t know about you guys, but when your girlfriend say that, its usually a trap. Its usually about this time you should set the stack of magazines on the coffee table on fire and run in the other direction. But I didn’t. Silly me. Ales should learn something from this and always carry matches. ”Ok, sure, no problem. I’ll follow your sister to the PC Fair, then help her get a notebook for her medical school,” I say, with a forced smile, my left hand pawing my shirt pockets for a box of matches. Its 3 weeks later, and I’m lazing at the office, just waiting for a chance to get America ’s Army launched for a few rounds of R&R, when I get a call on my cell phone. It’s the Sister! “Hi, how may I be of service?” I say, pouring sarcasm into the phone like a drunk does with cheap whisky. “Yeah, that laptop you got me is not working right. I can’t find my file...