"So, you're leaving then?" I ask over a mouth full of noodles. "Yes, my contract is almost up, and the office is pretty far from where I live anyway," says the drone.
"Right, cant have that can we?"
Later that day, I get my realpopup (www.realpopup.it) up and start a lively message conversation going with The Programmer.

The Programmer : So she's leaving, what then?
IT (me) : Um, well yeah she's been good to us, wana go out of our way and get her something?
The Programmer : Ohh that sounds like it might involve money, and spending it, and my money mainly.
IT Me : Err... well we could share, get her one of those thinggies?
The Programmer : Riiiight.... those thinggies where you go out to the corner store and rummage over their broken glass bin?
IT Me : Oh PLEASE! That was ONE birthday gift! I actually thought the shards of green and blue glass looked good on your desk!
The Programmer : That they did, and under my desk too, all around the area I prop my feet up even?
IT Me : Um, might have been some disgruntled worker! Someone who knew you worked with your shoes off! Yes THATS it! I'm sure of it!.
The Programmer : We just have 4 people working with us. 2 of them are out for a few weeks.
IT Me : Wow, some people plan in advance huh? *cough* err well anyway lets just take her out to dinner ok?
The Programmer : Yeah ok maybe get in a few beers too.
IT Me : Oh yes, beers.


The Drone is going about every desk and having a short chat with the person sitting there. I alt+tab my por..er.. 'jpg inventory' and pretend to be working.
"Hello there, I just wanted to say thank you for being helpfull for this past year or so, and here's something I'd like you to have," says the Drone, putting down a heart shaped mangoe fruit jelly on my desk.
"Yum, jelly with those square blocks of fruit!" I say, grabbing at it and patting myself for a spoon.
"Um, no, its a scented candle"
"hahha good one, where's my spoon again?"
"No, its really a candle, see the wick?" "Ooookay, whats those square things in it then?" I ask, feeling hungry already. "I dont quite know, maybe its the scent essence or something. Could you do me a favour? The NewGuy isnt in this week, I was wondering if you could give him this (puts another jell..er.. candle on my desk) Just tell him its from me ok?"
"Hey, how come his candel is alot more colourfull then mine?" I ask her, trying to get into more trouble then I already have with her and the NewGuy.
"No reason! What IS IT WITH YOU? Look, just take which ever one you want, just give him his candle ok?"
"Yes maam!"
Once last salute to her and she's off to her desk, clearing up her stuff and smiling that happy smile you have when you've either told off the boss and handed in your resignation letter, or you've just taken a huge dump on the parking attendent's table (dont ask, trust me)

Now I'm left with 2 candles on my desk, and I havent even hurt anyone this week. Must be getting slow.




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Broken glass under the desk.

FUCK

YEAH.

Was there blood? Huh? Was there?

-RevX

Davin said...

Yeah well see there was no glass *closes his eyes*