I'm up there in the clouds.

17.8.15 |

Salesy_McSales: NoWin_X can we invite our prospect to the event
Salesy_McSales: sorry AWS event in loaf
NoWin_X: Salesy_McSales, its your call
NoWin_X: what is the value of our company, if the client go direct to AWS?
NoWin_X: and what would the prospect think, he asked you for ABC, and now you say, "hey, go to this event, learn about ABC on your own". what the value add here and what do we bring to the picture?
Salesy_McSales: NoWin_X, font have to snab me like this, i am asking you bcos you told me client can go direct. if you are so unwilling to teach and share is fine
Salesy_McSales: how many times do i have to tell you i need time to learn i am not as smart as you.

NoWin_X: I'm not 'snab'ing you (what is snab?)
NoWin_X: I'm telling you what i told you last week + Boss
NoWin_X: A. Client can buy direct. they manage everything. (Boss said, whats the value here? Company should do managed services)
Salesy_McSales: is OK, i can never up to your standard
NoWin_X: B. if we 'manage' it for client, then the price might be 'higher'. (Boss said this is the value we offer to the client)

Salesy_McSales: i will just see what i can do and do my best that is all
Salesy_McSales: if you think i am not doing the right thing and not up to your expectation by all means you can take over the account i will tell the managemnt i am not ready to sell cloud
NoWin_X: i dont understand where you're going with this, seriously. what is 'my expectation'?
Salesy_McSales: whenever i try to talk to you in the nice way you have to do this to me

NoWin_X: and why are you so defensive? you asked if you can bring the prospect there, i said you have to ask Boss probably because i cant make the call
Salesy_McSales: if i know i will not ask you and i will decide myself ok
NoWin_X: if the client goes there, the client has to understand all of this

Salesy_McSales: stop saying i am defensive, look back at what you wrote
NoWin_X: you need to take a step back.

NoWin_X: what do we need?
NoWin_X: 1. a quote from AWS
NoWin_X: for #1 - I've emailed something basic to AWS, and asked them to help you quote. the guy said ok
NoWin_X: #2 - hardware, configuration from AWS
NoWin_X: for #2, I've also put it in, they said ok, part of the quote
NoWin_X: tomorrow is just to go there, and say hi basically.

Its nothing but a cloud

29.7.15 |

NoWin_X: here, have a problem
NoWin_X: "Lets sell software on the cloud"
NoWin_X: Ok, how what, where, when and why?
NoWin_X: "Err... its the cloud. Its magic. We get paid for nothing!"
SlowThis_Hess: lol
NoWin_X: effing redonkulous
NoWin_X: now i'm being blamed for:

1. Delaying the sales engagement for asking the cloud partner "too many questions".

2. Not telling the sales person EXACTLY what we need to know about "the magic cloud".

@ #2, how do I know WHAT we need to know about cloud, if I dont ask the god damn questions in the first place?

SlowThis_Hess: omg, I'd feel so at home at your job
NoWin_X: .... you'd .... feel so at home dealing with stupid people and ending work at 8pm everyday wanting to slit your wrists?
SlowThis_Hess: #1 rule in SNAFU environments: always be the source of SNAFU tasks, never work on them
SlowThis_Hess: so, e.g. in your case, ad 1) you don't ask questions, ad 2) come up with bogus requirements, just pull them out of your ass, like: we need 50 blade servers with newest haswell-EP CPUs with at least 2.5 GHz and at 8-core or more configurations, half a terabyte of RAM each, 5 or so SAN closets, and a team of 20 people to write the software and administer the cloud

SlowThis_Hess: and then of course you end up haggling over requirements and prices, and while this takes time, like 2 months, the end-result begins to crystalize
SlowThis_Hess: all by itself
NoWin_X: 50 blades hahaha
NoWin_X: just to do even that will take up 3 months of my time

NoWin_X: and thats just trying to mess with people
SlowThis_Hess: that's because you want to be thorough, but noone is thorough, you should just pull things out of your ass and serve them out at meetings
SlowThis_Hess: this means you should never come prepared to any meetings, of course
NoWin_X: :( oh dear

NoWin_X: I cant do that
NoWin_X: As in, come not prepared
NoWin_X: Its like asking me not to breathe. or breathe but dont use any O2
SlowThis_Hess: yes, I know, you're too good for that, and that's why you don't have any time

Do you, or you don't?

18.6.15 |

[5:15:33 PM] Hexvin_d: do you garden, at all?
[5:15:33 PM] Hexvin_d: sorry, I mean, do you do any gardening, at all?
[5:15:41 PM] Showthis Tress: not at all
[5:15:44 PM] Showthis Tress: I leave that to peasants
[5:16:06 PM] Hexvin_d: good point

Myths and Legends

29.4.15 |

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: oh boy, a coworker dropped the database with a log of every carpet in every airport in the world, 2.21 TB worth

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: I'm sure you don't have this... unlucky... employees

BlahVin_Y: dropped... on his foot?

BlahVin_Y: or dropped from the DB Server = no longer there and data go bye-bye

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: yes, went bye-bye

BlahVin_Y: well

BlahVin_Y: time for him to go bye-bye as well!

BlahVin_Y: lol

BlahVin_Y: i can feel his pain

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: now to wait a couple of days to restore it from backups... damn

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: he is the project manager, so won't go bye-bye :D

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: he was testing....something....

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: and somehow it ran TRUNCATE on all partitions

BlahVin_Y: why is a 'project manager' doing stuff that touches the DB?

BlahVin_Y: ooo... he's a Project Manager that ACTUALLY knows things / works?

BlahVin_Y: oh wow

BlahVin_Y: we dont have such animals here

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: because we don't have sufficient manpower and the project manager just shines when he can do a bit of coding or playing with a database

BlahVin_Y: better than an idiot using excel, paper pushing you till you die of a 10000 papercuts

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: indeed :)

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: well, he'll bring it back

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: at least our PM fixes his own mistakes :)

BlahVin_Y: you have a unicorn

BlahVin_Y: i've heard of those

BlahVin_Y: just never seen them

NameChangedBecauseHeIsASpy: yes, oftentimes it boggles my mind when I suggest something sane and you respond that it's impossible in your company....

BlahVin_Y: well yes, you keep suggesting things like turning metal into gold, levitation, eternal youth, and things like that. Not sane at all.

Is this for real?

28.4.15 |

I get this unsolicited on my old Skype that's merged via MSN. Someone asking me to fill up a form for a survey. I've had a crazy long month, and I knew this was some sort of spam / pish activity, but I thought I'd see where it went.

    Me: I'm not great with forms, sorry
    OtherParty: ok
    OtherParty: why you not great ??

    Me: because i tried last time to fill up a form, but i didn't do so well
    OtherParty: why ohh ? i will guide you how to fill up trust me ok so now i meet you if you get your permisison id ok can or not ??
    Me: People died. People died because I didn't fill up the right form.

    Me: but how will you guide me to fill up a form?
    OtherParty: yes ??
    OtherParty: dont worry ok
    OtherParty: do you ahve skype
    OtherParty: or gmail

    Me: ok whats your gmail then?
    OtherParty: ackira21@gmail.com

    Me: ok so use that gmail?
    OtherParty: yes
    Me: can you use the gmail to send the details on the form?
    OtherParty: yes
    OtherParty: ok dear email me now on gmail ok
    OtherParty: ackira21@gmail.com
    Me: i cant use ackira21@gmail.com
    Me: it says that the account is already created
    OtherParty: ok can i have yours gmail i will send it to you ok?

    Me: I tried to register a gmail account....for you
    Me: like you asked me to
    Me: but it says its already taken [disappointed emoticon here]
    Me: I dont know what to do now

    OtherParty: ok you ahve yahoo or skype

    Me: no, only gmail
    OtherParty: ok can i have your email now
    Me: but I told you, I tried to register and it says its taken
    Me: maybe if you dont use that email
    Me: so i can use that email
    OtherParty: waht ???
    OtherParty: I use my email ok?
    Me: Well maybe you can use "ackira22@gmail.com" instead?
    OtherParty: ok i use it
    Me: And then i can register "ackira21@gmail.com"
    Me: yeah?
    OtherParty: ok
    OtherParty: ackira21@gmail.com
    OtherParty: ok add me ok
    Me: add you to my gmail?
    Me: Whats the password? To "ackira21@gmail.com"?


16.4.14 |

I'm going to run away.

I'm going to pack my bags and move off to somewhere and become a recluse.

Its starting to look like everything's on me, and that's fine. But then suddenly I'm being blamed.

I'm either being blamed for responding slow to clients, not training or enabling the team sufficiently, not delegating tasks enough, or hoarding clients to myself (really?).

I'm going to pack my bags and move off to somewhere and become a recluse.

I'm going to run away.

By far the strongest worded email I've ever sent

8.3.14 |

Hi, that is nowhere near a project plan.

1.       We’re number 2 (this makes no sense to me, we signed up with your company to co-develop something, and now we’re on the back burner?) – how long will job #1 take to complete before our task starts? = X days
2.       How long will it take to code? = X days
3.       How long do you want to take to test your code? = X days

Fill in the X.

Please. All I’m asking is for some numbers so that we can calculate forwards how long this will take. Telling me that we’re #2 in line of the queue makes no sense when I don’t know how long that queue is going to be, or how long you will take.

We want to feedback to the client on a date in the near future, but cannot because you have repeatedly failed to give a timeline on this.