Its nothing but a cloud

29.7.15 |

NoWin_X: here, have a problem
NoWin_X: "Lets sell software on the cloud"
NoWin_X: Ok, how what, where, when and why?
NoWin_X: "Err... its the cloud. Its magic. We get paid for nothing!"
SlowThis_Hess: lol
NoWin_X: effing redonkulous
NoWin_X: now i'm being blamed for:

1. Delaying the sales engagement for asking the cloud partner "too many questions".

2. Not telling the sales person EXACTLY what we need to know about "the magic cloud".

@ #2, how do I know WHAT we need to know about cloud, if I dont ask the god damn questions in the first place?

SlowThis_Hess: omg, I'd feel so at home at your job
NoWin_X: .... you'd .... feel so at home dealing with stupid people and ending work at 8pm everyday wanting to slit your wrists?
SlowThis_Hess: #1 rule in SNAFU environments: always be the source of SNAFU tasks, never work on them
SlowThis_Hess: so, e.g. in your case, ad 1) you don't ask questions, ad 2) come up with bogus requirements, just pull them out of your ass, like: we need 50 blade servers with newest haswell-EP CPUs with at least 2.5 GHz and at 8-core or more configurations, half a terabyte of RAM each, 5 or so SAN closets, and a team of 20 people to write the software and administer the cloud

SlowThis_Hess: and then of course you end up haggling over requirements and prices, and while this takes time, like 2 months, the end-result begins to crystalize
SlowThis_Hess: all by itself
NoWin_X: 50 blades hahaha
NoWin_X: just to do even that will take up 3 months of my time

NoWin_X: and thats just trying to mess with people
SlowThis_Hess: that's because you want to be thorough, but noone is thorough, you should just pull things out of your ass and serve them out at meetings
SlowThis_Hess: this means you should never come prepared to any meetings, of course
NoWin_X: :( oh dear

NoWin_X: I cant do that
NoWin_X: As in, come not prepared
NoWin_X: Its like asking me not to breathe. or breathe but dont use any O2
SlowThis_Hess: yes, I know, you're too good for that, and that's why you don't have any time