Skip to main content

22. What school did you go to again?

At times everyone's had to work or interact with some people that are supposed to have the knowledge they say (in their field) but don't. Most of the time we're able to side step them, explain the issue to someone else (hopefully someone above them) and then run away. Literally, run away.

Jim: So, in a nutshell, the application has the ability to report out data via SQL, and since we're using Crystal Reports (CR), you can use the CR features such as export to PDF and even send out reports via email.
Cat: Hey, CR! Ok, now we're talking my language here!
Jim: I'm sorry, you're from the IT line as well? I was under the impression (looks down at meeting attendance list) that you're from Sales? You're the Sales Director even. *cough* its nice meeting you by the way.
Cat: Uh huh. Oh no back when I was doing my degree I had plenty of CR experience!
Jim: Well good so as you can see, using CR, we can 'push' reports out via email, a fact I think you'd benefit greatly from.
Cat: Oh yes, we need that.
Jim: Whats your infrastructure setup like right now?
Cat: Don't worry about that, just quote us the application and maintenance, we should be able to work out the hardware based on our current infrastructure.
Jim: Well it sounds like you know what you want, I'll get on it right away!

{3 weeks and one sale later}

Support: Morning, how can I help you today?
Cat: Your application is buggy! It doesn't seem to be able to send out reports via email.
Support: Let me have a look at this, can you successfully push out the reports in CR?
Cat: OF COURSE! I know CR very well!
Support: Thats great. So CR gets the report out, but it doesn't get emailed?
Cat: Yes. Your sales guy promised CR reports to be sent out via email!
Support: Is there an error you're getting? From your mail application or a bounce email, you know something like that?
Cat: What mail application? I want the CR report sent out to my director, its not doing that?
Support: I'm sure we can resolve this quickly. What do you use for your email, Outlook or Lotus Notes?
Cat: Huh? Hotmail?
Support: . . . . . . Can I please speak to your IT department?
Cat: Like I said, your programmers are bad in CR. You guys really need pointers.
Support: I'll let them know right away!
Cat: You do that!
Support: Let me get this right. You're trying to push the CR report, which requires a Mail Application to do so, into Hotmail. I dont think its going to work. It works with MS Outlook or Lotus Notes. Hotmail is a web based email, at best you should print to PDF your CR report and attach it there.
Cat: When I was doing my degree they could do that and it worked!
Support: Ma'am, I think you need help.
Cat: Um, CR help?
Support: Who can say what sort of help you need lady! Maybe a Psychiatrist!
Maybe a six pack or two! Bye!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

9. I.T. And the Meeting Seat Filler

It’s early as I exit the pantry with my morning cup of tea, with lots of milk, just the way I like it when I see the NewGuy slip in the office and slither over to his desk nary a care in the world. I take a look at my watch and see its 9.34am, and this isn’t the first time the NewGuy’s been late to work. My mind slowly starts to think up of things I can make him do with the knowledge he’s been late one too many times, when I receive a phone call on my cell. It’s the BOSS! And he sounds angry! 2 minutes later I’m back at my desk clearing it up and getting some files in order. The NewGuy peeks from his part of the half partition and chirps, “Busy morning huh?” “Yes, it always is for people that come in on time to work.” Its early, and I haven’t gotten into my normal frame of mind, so I’m a little more direct then I should, and I can feel my hold on the NewGuy slowly slipping. I know I have to shake things up, or he’s never going to look up at me. With this in mind, I reach down to ...

6. Conflict of IP and Interests (part 1)

It always starts out on a quiet Monday, when everything seems to be going well, there are no emails in your inbox (because you spent the weekend reading office email and replying to odd requests) and you’re about to get the first cup of tea when the boss’ daughter walks up to my table and says, “My computer has an IP conflict.” It takes me a few seconds to register that she’s actually said something that made sense for once, and not just some random buzzwords mixed in some regular daily babble like she usually does. “So, how do you know it’s an IP conflict again? Did you try pinging the office server and notice packets going missing? Was the network connection intermittent?” I ask her, still confused, since I haven’t had my morning tea. “Um no, the computer told me,” she replies, flashing me some teeth. Slowly it dawns on me that she must have XP Pro on her machine, and the network wiz bubble must have popped up and told her there was an IP conflict. Trying to act busy but being ...

14. Promo

"Hey, guess what? Next Thursday there's a presentation of the new version of WonderCode in a hall nearby by the local reseller, free admittance. Interested?", goes my boss. "Uh...", I mumble as I try to read the forwarded spam. "Well, a lot of buzzwords, I've read about it all already, nothing I really need, they've just added a few layers of complexity, really... But okay, I'll go, if only because of the discount for participants." Great. Another wasted day. Well, at least wasted with a blessing. Not that I like WonderCode. I like to work with CodeSpew, actually. But there's not many projects out there I can use it on. You know, one thing runs on Windoze, the other on Lunix. Drat. But one thing I've learned is never show enthusiasm. If you show enthusiasm for one thing you're sure to experience a lack of it. Therefore it's only logical for me to try to show at least a bit of enthusiasm for this promo crap. "Where do...